Where do you live now and what do you do for a living? Is there something you'd rather be doing? Currently I live on the Caribbean Island of Fantomas, except that I’m legally dead… It’s a long story. For the seven years leading up to that the US Army was my home. I flew a Blackhawk Helicopter in Iraq and Afghanistan, and even though people were constantly trying to kill me I loved every second in the air. Despite my rebellious childhood the order and discipline of the military appealed to me.
What's going on in your life right now? What’s going on in my life… chaos, madness and anarchy. In the past few weeks I’ve been shot down, kidnapped by private military corporate creeps and somehow wound up on a Caribbean island with a wonderfully insane Voodoo priestess as my new best friend. It’s a beautiful island, with pristine beaches. The only problem is that the dead tend to rise up and try to eat you; that’s not on the travel brochure.
Is there someone special in your life? Oh boy… uh, yeah there is. His name is Glen and he’s an ex military contractor, well mercenary technically. But he’s not a macho meathead, if that’s what you’re picturing. He’s strong, certainly handsome, but there’s a sadness to him. Even when he’s joking and laughing I can see it hiding in his eyes. I think he’s just seen to much darkness for one lifetime. We connected as soon as we met.
How did you meet? What's his/her family like? We had the good fortune to be kidnapped and tortured by the same paramilitary creeps until we broke out together. How’s that for a first date? Glen hasn’t talked about his family at all, and given what we’ve been through I don't want to push the issue. One of the things that drew us together is that we both found our real family in the military. I think it’s what brought structure to our lives. But after Glen was wounded the army discharged him, claiming he couldn’t be a combat soldier without a gallbladder, which is just stupid. So I think he felt sort of abandoned and betrayed by the only family he’d ever known. Not that you’d ever hear him complaining. I usually have to pry personal thoughts out of him with a crowbar. Silent, obstinant, prone to melancholy… god I think I love this guy. Did I mention that all his hair fell out after we were captured because of something called alopecia … I’m talking top to bottom here. He’s like a ken doll. Well he does have certain things a Ken doll lacks.
What's keeping you two apart? Other than Voodoo curses, rampaging zombies and the occasional military coup? Probably me. I tend to be very guarded with relationships, kind of a no sex till the tenth date and then I unconsciously sabotage the ninth one. Part of it might be dealing with the army, which is still kind of a boy’s club. Some of it may stem from focusing too much on my career. I have other patented excuses if anyone’s interested. Weirdly enough there’s now a Voodoo spirit named Pomba Gira sharing my body and consciousness… another long story. I should make her pay rent. Pomba Gira just happens to be the spirit of love and fertility. Let’s just say she’s a spirit that’s extremely open minded when it comes to sexuality. Talk about the odd couple. Since she arrived a lot of my “issues” seem to be melting away, and I’m not sure if that’s coming from her or me. Either way I’m not complaining.
What one thing could you do that would make you feel like the relationship will work out? Wow, you’re really going to break my balls about this aren’t you! Okay, here we go. Despite all we’ve been through Glen and I have only been intimate once. Not for lack of trying mind you, it’s just that Voodoo curses, zombies and a military coup kind of spoils the moment. But if we could just capture that feeling again, one more time I know we’d never let go.
Any last comments? You know what really scares me? I mean scares me more than the zombies, demons and day to day pants peeing terror that’s become my life? It’s that I’ve heard relationships formed in times of extreme danger rarely last. But I don't think that’s the case here. Losing Glen is the only thing that really terrifies me.
Where are you from? Did you have a happy childhood? First off, I’m glad to have a chance to tell my side of the story. There’s a certain author named William Burke who’s written some libelous rag called Voodoo Child, wherein he has the audacity to blame me for my husband’s death, a few dozen other murders and a zombie uprising. It’s pure nonsense from a talentless hack scribbler. He’s probably some bitter guy I blew off and forgot about. Anyway…
I was born in Mississippi, where we lived in a ratty trailer park in a town that I refuse to acknowledge. Was my childhood happy? Hell no. I was a very pretty child. I’m not being arrogant; it’s just a fact. Early on, my mother decided to enter me in every toddler, pre-teen and teen beauty pageant she could find. I worked hard and usually won, mostly because Mommy’s penalties for losing were pretty severe. Besides the usual posing, singing and baton twirling, Mom also taught me how to sabotage the competition. You know, itching powder in their spangled tights, thumb tacks in their tap shoes. These were valuable life lessons. We had to focus our energy on the pageant circuit so I was home schooled. That is if you consider watching reruns of Jeopardy in a motel room to be schooling.
Anyway, I won everything from Miss Junior Mississippi to Miss Tractor Pull and accumulated quite a lot of prize money along the way. But on my eighteenth birthday I discovered that Mommy dearest had spent all my hard-earned cash. That day I packed a bag, waved goodbye (using only my middle finger) and made my way into the world, penniless. I was totally unqualified for any normal job so I found a niche modeling for auto parts catalogs. Yup, I was that super hot chick in the leopard skin bikini holding up a chrome exhaust manifold … but, damn, I sure was good at it! Anyway, after ten years of success I found myself being pushed aside in favor of younger girls. These talentless eighteen-year-olds didn’t understand what it takes to seductively caress a spread bore four-barrel carburetor—it’s an art form! But they were in and I was out. So there I was in my (early!) thirties with nothing but a suitcase full of high heels and swimsuits. Fortunately, this weird army general on a Caribbean island called Fantomas had seen my pictures, fallen in love and desperately wanted to marry me. Can you blame him?
Where do you live now and what do you do for a living? Is there something you'd rather be doing? I live in the Island Republic of Fantomas. Remember that general? Well, he declared himself Prime Minister for Life (okay, technically Dictator) right before he asked me to marry him. He gave me the most wonderful wedding present imaginable by dropping dead on our honeymoon night. Assuming I had assassinated him, the ignorant citizens of Fantomas declared me a national hero and their new leader. That’s right, I’m now Her Excellency Madame Lavonia Dawes Prime Minister of the Republic of Fantomas. Not bad for a hick from a Mississippi trailer park. Suck on that, Mom!
What's going on in your life right now? Like many third world nations, Fantomas’ government was riddled with graft, corruption and bribery. But right now I’m working day and night to ensure I get my piece of the action. Once I get my pile of loot together I’m catching a midnight flight to Paris and leaving this tropical cesspool behind. Actually, the beaches here are very nice, but you can keep the rest of it.
Is there someone special in your life? Yeah. Me. Actually there is someone or something maybe. He’s a Voodoo spirit named Baron Kriminel. He’s ugly as sin, but has a certain charisma. He’s actually the one who wasted my ex-husband and selected me as his protégé. I’m sure he’s hot for me… I mean look at me; who could resist? He even calls me pet names like his little salope, or his sweet losaz, which must mean something nice.
(Note from William Burke: Both are French words meaning either slut or whore, depending on their specific usage. Wow, Lavonia, that home schooling really paid off.)
How did you meet? What's his/her family like? He’s Voodoo’s eternal spirit of death and vengeance, so I don’t think he has parents. Anyway, my husband (for two hours) tried to double cross him so the baron induced a heart attack during the consummation of our marriage. After that we just sort of hit it off.
What's keeping you two apart? For the past few millennia, he had a thing going with Pomba Gira, the Voodoo spirit of love and fertility. She dumped him and he hasn’t really gotten over her yet. Right now they’re having some weird competition to decide the fate of humanity. I think Gira’s possessing the body of an American Army helicopter pilot—some chick named Maggie Child. I haven’t seen her but I can’t imagine she’s any competition for me.
What one thing could you do that would make you feel like the relationship will work out? I think I need to kill Maggie Child, and also this Voodoo priestess named Sarafina who’s been a major thorn in my butt for months. After they’re gone I can seduce Baron Kriminel. I know seducing a god sounds pretty ambitious but have you seen this body? Who could resist?
Any last comments? William Burke is a two-bit talentless hack and his book (if you could call it that) Voodoo Child is full of lies and malicious rumors about me. I’m just a compassionate young woman valiantly trying to bring her struggling nation into the 21st century. He will be hearing from my lawyers.
The forces of darkness are out to destroy mankind… Too bad they never reckoned on facing Maggie Child!
Army chopper pilot Maggie Child has a reputation for being fearless, professional and, above all, rational. But when she's shot down over Iraq her well-ordered life spirals into a paranormal nightmare. Alone, wounded and surrounded by hostile forces, Maggie is rescued from certain death by a demon straight out of Dante's Inferno. Then, barely alive, she's abducted by a private military corporation conducting insidious medical experiments. Her escape from their covert hellhole lands her on a Caribbean island where an evil voodoo spirit and a psychotic female dictator are conspiring to unleash an apocalyptic zombie plague. Then she uncovers the most terrifying secret of all—her own destiny. It seems a Voodoo oracle has ordained her the only warrior capable of saving humanity from a supernatural Armageddon … whether she wants the job or not!
But saving the world isn't a one-woman job, so she teams up with a trio of unlikely heroes—a conspiracy obsessed marijuana smuggler, a Voodoo priestess with an appetite for reality television, and a burnt out ex-mercenary. Together, they'll take on an army of the walking dead, with the fate of humanity resting in their eccentric hands.
Voodoo Child, Book One: Zombie Uprising is the first novel in a new horror series packed with supernatural thrills, rousing adventure, dark humor, Voodoo lore and plenty of zombie stomping action. But a word of warning; don't shoot these zombies in the head … because that just makes them mad!
It's the legions of hell versus Maggie Child … and hell doesn't have a prayer!
Book Trailer: https://youtu.be/yPfVbgm-1XY
The author was raised on a diet of late night creature features, comic books, Mad magazines and horror stories. As a result every volume will be packed with eccentric characters, dark humor, chills, zombies, ghosts, monsters, military hardware and plenty of stuff blowing up.
Prior to writing Voodoo Child he was the creator and director of the Destination America television series Hauntings and Horrors. He has also written scripts for two Cinemax television series, Forbidden Science and Lingerie, which he also produced. He has also written magazine pieces for Fangoria and the Phantom of the Movies Videoscope among others.
William began his film and television career as a perfectly respectable video engineer at the venerable United Nations. Budget cuts shifted him to becoming a production manager and assistant director on an array of New York based indie films. With that experience under his belt he relocated to Los Angeles where he eventually produced sixteen feature films and two television series for the Playboy Entertainment Group. After years of producing T&A extravaganzas, kickboxing epics and gangster rap videos, he created a self financed television pilot entitled American Mystery Tour. Canada's CTV picked up the series under the title Creepy Canada, which was then re-titled Hauntings and Horrors in the USA. Since then he has successfully produced three series for HBO/Cinemax as well as documentaries and other … stuff.
After hundreds of hours of film and television production he is basking in the freedom of the written word, where small budgets and giant egos are only memories. He lives in Toronto.
If you enjoyed the first adventure please visit www.williamburkeauthor.com where you'll find lots of interesting information about Voodoo and military hardware, along with excerpts from Sarafina's personal diary AND, as a gift to readers, the author will be serializing a prequel novella.
Author interview and book trailer video: https://youtu.be/SXanlSkmHEI
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Author interview video: https://youtu.be/SXanlSkmHEI